urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool this is the shit this is the shit 2006-07-27T19:18:27Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:49516 2006-07-27T19:14:27Z 2006-07-27T19:18:27Z only in orange county will you be driving down the freeway and see x-wing fighters explode in the sky. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:47307 2006-06-26T17:12:32Z 2006-07-10T17:43:30Z it leave never would you you show could i if urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:46471 2006-06-22T16:39:00Z 2006-06-22T16:39:00Z i haven't felt right since monday. when i woke up this morning things seemed to be worse. my coworkers convinced me i should go to the doctor so when i called and they asked my symptoms, they wanted to get me in right away. i go in an hour. i'm really scared. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:45833 2006-06-08T19:37:08Z 2006-06-08T20:55:34Z i want a bean+cheese burrito from astroburger every day of my life! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:44823 2006-06-07T15:37:45Z 2006-06-07T15:37:45Z i went to michael's last night and the cashier flipped out when my total was $6.66 and on top of that, it being 06-06-06. when i was leaving he was like, "have a good night. seriously, i mean that." i swear he was convinced i was gonna die. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:44756 2006-06-06T23:57:57Z 2006-06-06T23:57:57Z i guess just for the sake of having one on today's date. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:44357 2006-05-31T15:15:53Z 2006-05-31T15:15:53Z my cat is driving me crazy. in the past couple of weeks she has decided that in the middle of the night she's gonna start meowing and jumping into every window until i get up and let her out. this morning she did it at 4am. and then at 6am she started meowing outside to come back in. this cat doesn't let me sleep! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:43904 2006-05-26T23:12:49Z 2006-05-26T23:12:49Z i can't see the garden no more, just the aphids. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:42790 2006-05-26T19:29:58Z 2006-05-26T21:12:03Z men really make me sick. i won't even start in on scott, but i see it everywhere. there is a new, young girl who just started in the call center and all the guys are practically throwing themselves at her. men make me sick. i really hate how they operate. the new girl isn't in our department, doesn't have anything to do with our department, but henry finds every reason in the world to bring her to his office. it makes me sick that guys are like this. i had to realize my own ex-boyfriend is the same way and it makes me hate guys. i would bet money that scott's new "friend" has hung out with all his guy friends more times since he's broken up with me than i ever did in the 2 years i was with him. <br /><br />why don't they ever stop to realize that they hurt people's feelings?<br /><br />i also know that not all guys are like this. and i will find one who isn't. one who will love me for just being me.<br /><br />i still can't believe he called on the wrong day. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:41556 2006-05-25T15:44:19Z 2006-05-25T15:44:19Z jeni made me the best frame ever! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:35344 2006-04-26T15:32:57Z 2006-04-26T15:32:57Z Last night Brother Ali was singing "Picket Fence" a cappella and the part about how God's gonna test you and all this pain is training, I really felt that. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:34918 2006-04-12T19:43:09Z 2006-04-12T19:43:09Z the mountains look so beautiful right now. my doctor's office has rooms that overlook the fullerton golf course and the mountains are in the background. it's a nice view.<br /><br />i thought i could tell a difference in my stomach and face, but it has now been confirmed by the doctor that i am losing weight. she came into the room gushing about my weight loss. and she was so nice today. she hasn't been that friendly in the past. on my first visit she straight-up told me i was fat. i was getting an exam so i had to fully strip and put on one of those paper vest things. i apologized to her for keeping my knee high socks on and she said, "no, i love it!" she was a totally different person today. because i hadn't eaten breakfast yet she wanted to do some blood tests on me. after i got a tetanus shot i was sent to the lab on the bottom floor of the building. that place was worse than planned parenthood. it took 45 minutes just to get a number and then another 45 minutes before they called my number. i didn't even get to work until noon. i'm leaving at 4:30 today to go to andy's baseball game. i have to do whatever just to keep myself occupied.<br /><br />i think just having a half day at work today will be good. i think i get the worst while at work just sitting around for 8 hours thinking about this whole situation. i just love him so much. what it comes down to is that i really just want a chance to show him i can be better. he said he has given me chances, everytime i did something he didn't like. but the difference is he never told me that. he never said anything. those were just dumb fights to me. this actual time away from each other has made me know what i was doing wrong. i just wish i could know that he knows that. i don't think it would be fair if he doesn't even give me a chance, even if it's just one, to show him. <br /><br />i just don't want to live with knowing that i wrecked the best thing i've ever had. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:34555 2006-04-11T21:54:10Z 2006-04-11T21:54:10Z i really can't stop crying. i feel so empty. i called my mom earlier and i told her i didn't know what to do, then i got scared and thought she might do something dumb like call him so i let her know how much it really upset him that he called her and i asked her again to promise not to call him. she got mad and hung up on me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:34050 2006-04-11T16:16:49Z 2006-04-11T16:16:49Z last night i beat my 10mi bike ride time by ten minutes. which did surprise me because last night i decided since i've been doing it over a week now i would change my gears to be harder. <br /><br />can someone tell me what i'm supposed to do to keep from thinking of him every minute of the day?<br />the nights are the hardest. i miss my calls to say goodnight. i miss calling him to tell him i'm home safely. i can only hope i will get to do it again. and the crying. i cry all the time. i don't think i'm strong enough for this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:33807 2006-04-10T22:00:51Z 2006-04-10T22:00:51Z i was at the post office on my lunch break and my cellphone rang with the ringer for bonanza. some guy in line laughed and went, "bonanza?" whatever. i'm okay with it.<br /><br />henry was buying us lunch today at del taco. i haven't had an appetite since i don't know when. i asked for a bean and cheese burrito. i couldn't even finish it. i just want it all to be okay. i just want to go to the bbq and it will all be okay. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:33619 2006-04-10T16:06:45Z 2006-04-10T16:06:45Z last sunday on grey's anatomy there was a preview for a new episode for last night. i remember because it was about bailey finding out what was going on with izzy and denny. but last night there was a rerun. i'm so confused! what happened to the new episode???<br /><br />i forgot my cellphone at home today. it could be a good thing, though. i won't spend all day staring at it hoping to get a phone call or text message. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:33463 2006-04-07T20:07:58Z 2006-04-07T20:07:58Z right now i'm worried sick that my mom is going to call scott. and i shouldn't have to be worrying about this at all. i don't even know why this is happening. scott's friend chris wants one of the puppies and in a week they'll be old enough to give away. amber is coming over this weekend to see them and i told my mom i was worried about calling scott to find out about chris wanting one. so she's all, "i'll do it!" and i got upset and said, "you can't call him. you promised you'd never call him again." he got so mad at me the first time. and i thought she understood how upset it made me the first time around. she doesn't get it. there's still over a week and i won't feel wrong about emailing him when that time comes. because i doubt he will let this get in the way of chris getting a puppy because i didn't let it stand in the way of cody getting couches. i shouldn't have said anything at all about it to her. i had my own plan in my head already on how i wanted to deal with the situation. i don't need her help. for some reason she thinks it's helping but doesn't get that she doing the exact opposite. anyway, my mom got mad at me that i got mad at her and told me to leave. so i left and called anna because she's with me on this. who's mom interferes? i'm 22 and get to deal with my own relationships and shouldn't have to deal with my mom trying to step in. it's outrageous. anna said that maybe she's just trying to sabotage it. because he specifically asked that she not call him. and she knows that. that's why i made her promise not to. and i thought a mother-daughter promise meant something. but i don't really think she's trying to wreck anything. i hope not. as far as i know they really like scott. especially after the trip to cambria. i think they really got to see what he's like and how funny he is. anyway, my mom kept telling me to get out of her house and i kept trying to get across to her that she better not call him. but she kept ignoring me. it's so upsetting to me. so who knows when i'll talk to her again. but now i'm sitting here worried sick that she's gonna go behind my back and call him. i wish i could email him and give him fair warning because i don't want him to think i had anything to do with it. but i can't. i'm trying desperately to respect that he wants his space. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:33069 2006-04-07T17:02:16Z 2006-04-07T17:02:16Z did anyone else know that jenny lewis was in pleasantville? because i sure did not. until last night when i watched it and realized it was her. i guess i didn't realize she continued acting after gorwing up. has anyone ever seen the wizard? classic. i loved that movie as a kid. my brother and i would watch it all the time. i didn't even make the connection until i found out that was jenny lewis in troop beverly hills, and then remembering that as a kid i knew that the same girl from troop beverly hills was in the wizard. if you haven't seen it. watch it. the wizard, that is. whatever happened to kerri green of the goonies and lucas fame? both classics. i'm putting lucas on my "to rent" list. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:32946 2006-04-07T16:40:11Z 2006-04-07T16:40:11Z tross' post about JFC just reminded me of something i had forgotten. last month when scott and i went to the paid dues festival, i could have sworn justin was the merch guy for aesop rock. how random would that be? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:32677 2006-04-05T22:08:17Z 2006-04-05T22:09:35Z right now what really helps is to put myself in his shoes. to think back to how i felt in january. i even read some emails that i had sent to him while i wanted a break from him. and i was saying almost identical things to him. saying how i didn't consider myself his girlfriend at that time, and that i just wanted time for me. and so i can take comfort in knowing that once i had that time to myself, it wore off, i got over it and was able to continue on with him. right now i just need to take everything one day at a time and not start to worry because i haven't talked to him in one day. i have to calm myself down and tell myself if in a week from today i still haven't heard from him, then i can start worrying. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:32214 2006-02-08T19:44:40Z 2006-02-08T19:44:40Z this weather is drying me out. i'm drinking so much water because of it.<br /><br />felt is going to play a show for the FIRST TIME EVER and i am so damn excited. i cannot wait. i just bought tickets. march 11th. paidduesfestival.com. i wanted to buy the vip tickets but scott talked me out of it. which makes me kinda mad but i'll get over it. FELT!<br /><br />FELT!<br /><br />i can't wait. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:31806 2006-02-04T00:37:51Z 2006-02-04T00:38:43Z still city on film no sleep after work! i'm gonna work out, shower, then get ready for jeni+amber's shindig. get fit 2006!<br /><br />tomorrow:<br />dye hair brown<br />new tires<br />atmosphere tickets<br />no babies.<br />wash car<br />wax eyebrows<br />go to 0g urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:31508 2006-02-03T19:19:48Z 2006-02-03T19:19:48Z the city on film - in formal introduction last night i got the new ipod! i'm beyond excited. i got the black 30gb. i also got these speakers that can plug into the wall or run on batteries. it came with a remote and different cradles so that any ipod can fit. and the best part...it's black to match my ipod. woo!<br /><br />i'm so so tired right now. i just walked to the deli in my office complex to buy a carmel frappuccino. i'm hoping it'll wake me up. but i've already decided that i'm gonna go to sleep after work. then when i wake up i'll start getting ready for jeni's shindig tonight. <br /><br />yay i get my hair dyed tomorrow! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:31242 2006-02-01T18:02:05Z 2006-02-01T18:02:05Z you know how sometimes you write a word over and over and then that word starts to look weird? march. what kind of word is march? who thought of this word? i'm trying to find a font for my p.o.s. posters and seeing march over and over again it really starting to bug me. march is not a word!<br /><br />march<br />march<br />march<br />march<br />march<br />march<br />march<br /><br />i actually double-check my calendar just to make sure it was a month. that's how weirded out i was about this word. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mandiubercool:31153 2006-01-31T00:42:57Z 2006-01-31T00:42:57Z this weekend i bought the rest of my new furniture. i'm so excited. i feel like it's finally all complete. (as far as the important things, like furniture.) i still need to get the little things like curtains and frames for posters. <br /><br />last night anna, daniel, and i went and saw the city on film. and met bob nanna. bob effing nanna. i had him sign an 8x10 photo anna gave me that she took in san diego summer '04 when we went for the braid reuninon tour. i'm not telling you what it says. you'll just have to come over and read it yourself!<br /><br />operation:get fit 2006 has now begun. i rode my bike to work today! i got new tires and tubes for it. i feel good.